How Do I Find the Strength to Go On?

How Do I Find the Strength to Go On?

How do I find the strength to go on?  That’s a simple question, Right? Well, here’s a simple answer. Just go on.  I just lost my job today(April 04th, 2018).  For me, this is a big thing.  You see, I was employed with the same company for approximately 16 years. The company I worked for just got bought out by another company and this new company downsized.  Everyone is replaceable once employed by someone else.

So, why on earth did this come as a surprise to me?  My mistake was to inadvertently have a false sense of security in someone else. I didn’t realize how programmed my mind really was until I was on the opposite side of the fence and jobless.  Thank God, I received the harsh slap of reality, that I so desperately needed.

This is bittersweet.  On one hand I am excited about all the great possibilities that await me but on the other hand, I am still little nervous.(Take a deep breath and breathe)  As I write this blog, my stomach is doing summersault and in knots while my mind keeps racing as to what I could have done differently to keep my job. 

See, there go that programming thought again. We make life difficult for ourselves, all we have to do is just let go and trust.  In time I have no doubt this nervous feeling will dissipate.  It feels weird though to say the words out loud, I am unemployed, but on the other hand, it feels empowering.

I had a feeling something like this was going to happen, but I wasn’t paying much attention to my inner voice and I didn’t take it seriously until the inevitable came.  You know it’s funny? when some of us got the ax, there were so many tears.  But I just realized I didn’t shed one. After dedicating my life for 16 years to someone else and having it end like this was so surreal.

There are times when the Universe will give us that added push because it’s trying to tell us better is coming, how we respond to that push is left up to us. We can either take advantage and listen to the silence as it speaks to us as to what we should do next or we can waist it and not listen.

As I sit here, I’m contemplating how dependent most of us have become with regards to depending on someone else to give us an allowance, as long as we do what we’re told.  I’m sitting here and my mind is wondering of all the possibilities that await me and it puts me in a place of bliss, even if only for a moment, but that’s all I need is a moment, just a taste.  

Because that moment will turn into a second, that second will turn into a minute, that minute will turn into an hour and then that hour will turn into a day.   There are so many great things waiting for me to enjoy.  With time I will fully come to understand as to why this happened, what is in store for me and that this was definitely for the best.     

There is a taste of freedom that surrounds me, that engulfs me, that I didn’t notice before because I was so entangled in this thing called a job. I was so programmed to believe in a system that convinces the average person to believe you need be a slave to your job in order to receive that steady paycheck to keep that paycheck flowing in order to live a so-called comfortable lifestyle. (And no I am not referring to those individuals who enjoy their job because there are a lot of people out there that do). 

Even though, I cannot see it, taste it or touch it. There is a knowing that everything is going to be alright. A couple of colleagues from my now previous job, LOL, have so convinced themselves that they are just too old (50 to 60 yrs) and will remain right where they are instead of trying to do for self.  How sad is that to have given up at such a young age or to even harvest the thought of being too old.

In this Western culture, if you’re not careful, one can get really caught up in the belief system that your too old to do many things and this can really be detrimental to your health and damaging to one’s psyche. Life is full of trials and tribulations, it would be boring otherwise.

We can try to run or hide from this mere truth, but the real test will come when we face ourselves in the mirror and admit to that reflection staring back that we will get through this little hiccup and keep on going. Either you make it work for you or you can allow it to devour you. I intend to make it work for me.

 I am 52 and unemployed and so what, there is only one way to go from here and that’s up…