Cheating Men

Cheating Men

You would think by the time a man reaches the age of 50, a cheating man would leave all those cheating ways behind him.  What’s really pathetic is, at this age, some immature men are still playing the field.  What the HELL!  What’s wrong with some of these men?  I am not referring to all men, so let’s set the record straight from now.

The scary part about this entire ordeal is that many women are the ones caught in the crossfire and are the causality of war.  I am by no means writing this to hate on men. In fact, I have been told on more than one occasion that I’m always defending men and sometimes I can be too sympathetic to our male counterpart, maybe there is some validity to that, who knows?

I can’t, in all honesty, write this article and believe that all men are cheaters and should not be trusted.  But unfortunately, the good ones have to suffer for the bad one.  I wonder though, do happy men cheat also and if so why?

From a woman’s perspective, this is a cruel, deceitful, hurtful, underhanded and even damn right deceptive experience to undergo, especially when she believed and trusted him, only to find out she was ignorant to what really was taking place between the sheets and that it was all a lie.  At this age what woman wants to go through this?  It’s so unfair. It makes it very difficult to trust again.

The worst part about the whole thing is, it’s already difficult for many women in this age group to work up the courage and start dating in the first place.  It can sometimes be a little nerve-racking having to start all over again in an unfamiliar dating pool. Sticking that big toe in first to test the waters filled with sharks and piranhas, only to find out it was all a lie, can be so crushing to one’s self-esteem.

What’s even more dangerous and I know, no women in her right mind would want to have to deal with or be concerned about is contracting an STI at this point in her life?  These are the options many women are faced with, be alone or take a chance.

There are men who cheat and that in itself is a selfish act, but not to wear protection is a diabolical act, to say the least. What man in his right mind would perform such a senseless act? Unfortunately,  there are many cheating men who only think about their own want and desires. 

I am not going to sit here and try to defend a man with such unconscionable behavior.  He knows right from wrong. I will play devil’s advocate for a moment.  Maybe there is some physiological fact about cheating that most people are unaware of.

Why is it so prevalent and so difficult for a man to be forthcoming to someone he claims to care about and just lay the cards on the table and be truthful.  Just be upfront and let the woman make her decision as to whether she would want to be in a non -monogamous relationship. 

Is that too much to ask? apparently so,  because many men do not even have the common decency to give the women the option to choose.

I guess the reason why most men cheat is that they want the best of both worlds.  So ladies, let me ask you, would you consider viewing porn or sexting as cheating? If your answer is yes, there are men who would disagree with you.

Before the internet, cheating was pretty straightforward, it was easily defined as skin to skin contact.  But nowadays, things have changed,  let’s say for example a man in one part of the world is online with a woman in another part of the world and both parties are engaged in explicit sexual pleasure through masturbation, but neither party will ever meet or touch each other physically, would that be consider cheating?

I am sure most men’s answer would differ compared to that of a woman.  The most logical answer from a man would probably sound something like this and he would more inclined to argue the fact, “but honey how could I be cheating, if I am here and she is all the way over there?” 

You see most cheating men will justify their behavior while trying to utilize their intellect in order to continue doing what they consider as not cheating but just having harmless fun.

Would love to hear your views on this topic?

 

 

 

The Dating Scene at 50

The Dating Scene at 50

How many of you will agree, that dating in you 50’s and up can sometimes be a little intimating, to say the least? Let’s face it, ladies, we’re not in our 20’s or 30’s anymore and even though some of us would like to think that, our physical appearance sometimes tells another tale. Having experienced, divorce, children or just the everyday trials and tribulations of life, dating still can be exciting.

At this juncture, we tend to see the world through different lenses.  The dating scene can sometimes allow us to feel like a teenager again, heart palpitations when you see him face to face,  talking to him on the phone for hours even though know you have to get up early the next morning for work or just texting him.  

There are even those times when you just have the urge to spill the beans and confide in your  best friend a little bit about this new man in your life, of course, the conversations are different now, but as you describe him and how he makes you feel inside not realizing it, you illuminating this far off smile on your face as you think about him, dating can be lots of  fun.  Just let yourself go and enjoy each moment as it comes.

There are many advantages to dating in this age group.

  1. You’re more mature now and with maturity comes the advantage of not making the same mistakes as when you were younger, having a better idea as to what you’re looking for in a man.
  2. At this stage in the game, gone are the days when we have to worry about our biological time clock ticking or running out of time to have children, most of us anyway have already been there or done that. Being in the dating scene again, helps you to enter into a relationship for the right reasons instead feeling like you’re running a marathon to get to the finish line.
  3. Most of us now have a clearer bird eyes view as to who we are and what we want out of life and are looking for that life special someone to share that dream with.
  4. We’ve figured out what’s important to us, our likes and dislikes. We’re not afraid to say exactly what we want and what we don’t want. We don’t have the time or the patience for childish games, lies or anything else that is not uplifting in the relationships.
  5. Physical appearance and caring about what others may think or say, the types of car and other status symbols takes a back seat and is no longer on the forefront, what’s inside is what matters most.
  6. Romance is far more enjoyable. And no I’m not talking about sex. You can now afford to go to places you may not have been able to before, for whatever the reason.
  7. We have hopefully learned from past relationships and made a mental note as to all the pitfalls to avoid, the do’s and don’ts, of life lessons again, well learned. We are knowing ourselves better and are able to size up other more skillfully, which gives us a better advantage.
  8. Communication is better now. You say what and how you feel, no holding back and being afraid of voicing what needs to be said. You take ownership of what is yours and communicate it honestly and directly.

Whoever said getting older was boring lied it’s only the beginning.